Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
pop tarts are not kleenex
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize
