it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Randomize
