does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
