Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
