Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
