I got chris browned last night
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
