'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Randomize
