while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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