i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
