he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Randomize
