Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize