The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
She needs sedatives and a leash
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Randomize
