is your mom at the bar?
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Randomize
