I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
nutella sex= disaster
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
