peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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