if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
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