i don't like sucking hair
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
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