I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Randomize
