He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
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