I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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