My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
