Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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