After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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