Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Randomize
