i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
