He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
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