Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
