they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
