The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
