im having a threesome with these popsicles
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I'm sobbing to NWA
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
