and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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