fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
