you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
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