His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
