her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize