she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Less talking, more tequila
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
