Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
