Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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