Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
