New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Randomize