My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
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