he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
