Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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