at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Randomize
