Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
It's official drugs can't kill me
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
