Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize