i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
