i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
