my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
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