Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
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