I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
