fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
