He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
