are you so shy because you have an std?
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
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