I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
