By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Randomize
