toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
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