Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
White coat. Heels.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
