There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
