your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
