he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
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