I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
