have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
