If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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