I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
